Archive for July, 2009

God Help Me, What Have I gotten Myself into?

I would never have conceived in my wildest dreams that I would find myself an independent career woman jumping into the stickiness of a ready-made family. “God help me, what have I gotten myself into?” I say it over and over as if I still haven’t come to terms with the idea. It feels at times so surreal and foreign to me.

I find myself wondering how I have gone from romantic candle-lit dinners to carpooling and endless mountains of laundry. Whatever happened to dessert and coffee before an X-rated nightcap? Now the only nightcap we seem to get are bedtime stories and falling-tree hugs.  Don’t get me wrong it is very endearing… But come on! Really? Somebody pinch me!   Have I actually morphed into Insta-mom? —fully equipped with a soon-to-be  shiny new Hubby and my very own sassy and needy 5-year-old daughter.

Initially, I was such a proactive wanna-be-mommy determined and hell bent on abolishing the evil connotation that comes with the label stepmother. I am going to be different…because after all I am different! I thought it would be easy, Super-girl likes me…hell she even Loves me!  I had no worries until reality bitch–slapped me in the face…I met her “mom.”

2009/07/23 at 1:28 AM Leave a comment

Online Dating? Oh no, not ME!

If life hadn’t dealt me a consistent ragged flop of cards I would have failed to see the humor in finding the love of my life through an online dating site.  What are the odds?  Leave it to me a not once, but twice married single gal hell bent on staying that way to stumble upon, when least expected, a magnificent wonder of a gent. So, naturally I convinced myself as they say (just who are they anyway?) that, “The third time’s the charm!”

It all innocently started (at work) when a couple of girls decided that it was time for me to get my feet wet in the ocean of dating. Not so much that I wanted to date…More importantly as a filler to help the long and sometimes drawn out night shift pass more quickly.  To my chagrin the words that I live by, “life is simple…Just me, my dogs and my garden” had to go.  It was unanimous; the only way for a homebody recluse such as myself to meet someone would be to “check out” the cyber world of online dating.

Now for those of you who may not be familiar with this type of  stay at home dating it is a virtual buffet of men…or women, whatever suits your fancy. Just “wink” and let the fun begin! To me it was more like a buffet of shallowness… This online dating community went against the natural fiber of my being to not (always) judge a book by its cover…we judged and thought aloud he is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S! or NOT!  After many night shifts spent gawking at hundreds of nameless faces on my computer screen…Alas Mi Hombre!

Now I confess that it isn’t as simple as that, choose a face and then say I do, forever and ever amen.  It was a process. That face on the computer screen although very appealing to the eye, had one (normally) red flag…a daughter.

In spite of my apprehension I decided to put on my big girl panties and bravely chanted to myself a new mantra, “I will do it all for L-O-V-E!”  Thinking simultaneously to myself, “What the heck, it can’t be anything worse that what I have experienced already”…so I thought.

2009/07/22 at 1:17 PM 1 comment


It’s all Ella Mental!

If you asked me 3 years ago would I consider becoming a stepmother I would have choked emphatically NO! Probably not just no, but HELL NO! I would never entertain the thought of trying to raise someone else’s kid(s) or be married to a man with an enormous load of shh...Shall I just say, B-A-G-G-A-G-E (Pronounced: OMG!) I have seen enough drama on the colourful trails of adventure in my life, enough to know that I would simply not ever knowingly plop myself down amidst the chaos of a stepfamily.

Well, in 2006 I ate my words…

I am a 35-year-old career woman, wife to the most dashingly authentic man on this planet…sorry ladies…and gents! I am a “Mother” ( I quote this b/c I don’t believe that you have to pass a spirited life through your Va-Jay-Jay to be one.) …of 4 wild-hearted four-legged children, and the stepmother to a wickedly brilliant 7-year-old stepdaughter.

Feel free to accompany me as I write about my vastly changing life, my kids; both four-legged and two, my (step) Family (I place this in parenthesis b/c I don’t consider anyone under my roof with the term step, they are simply FAMILY to me!) … and the trials and tribulations of transitioning from a single woman into a stepmother (not always) with grace.

Ella Mental Contact

stepmotherwithgrace@gmail.com

Ella Mental Necessity

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