Never Say Never

It had been decided in the parenting agreement between Mi Hombre and his ex that there would not be overnight sleepovers with Super-girl present until the opposite parent had a chance to meet their ex’s new partner.  “Fair enough” I thought.  The only trouble was I lived in another city over an hour away.  This made play-dates with me treacherous on the little 5-year-old Super-girl.  Not to mention very tiring for our love life.  We had spent six months seeing each other when he didn’t have his Super-girl. Sometimes that would mean for us having only phone or email contact for over two weeks at a time.

Now, for a wining and dining romantic woman such as myself this was clearly unacceptable.  I was in L-O-V-E with Mi Hombre and I was old enough to know that this wasn’t some puppy-love infatuation fling. This was the real deal. I have never been surer of something in my entire life.  I wasn’t just sure, I was CERTAIN.  I knew this because I swore that I would never again considered marriage, especially after two failed attempts at it.  At the time that was all I was thinking about. The more I thought about it the more I began letting go of the long list of “I will never’s.”

You know those things that we secretly or sometimes out loud tell ourselves we won’t EVER do.  My list became one big fat contradiction to everything I was getting ready to say yes to.  For example, I once heard myself say, “I would never conceive of dating, let alone marrying anyone with kids.”  Or “ I will never sell my house with my Zen garden, I am going to live there until I die.” And my personal favorite,  “ I will never again relocate my life, my job, or my friends for any MAN.”  I laugh loudly now at the thought because at the time I could think of nothing more than that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mi Hombre. Even though it appeared to go against what I stood for.  Somehow it made absolute perfect sense to me.

So, I vowed to never say never. I ordered a ton of step parenting books, and began my search to find the information that I needed to learn about becoming a stepmother. As time passed, Mi Hombre and I fell deeper in love and the pain that we felt with each absence became unbearable.  We both knew that it was time for me to cultivate a more significant relationship than play-mate with Super-girl.  So, I agreed with Mi Hombre…it was time to tell the ex about the seriousness of our relationship.